A Teacher Asks… My Principal Betrayed Me…

A teacher asks…

Am I being a butthole? Let me explain. For the past two years, I’ve looped with my students, first from 1st grade to second grade and then to third grade. My principal promised I’d follow them through 5th grade. On the last day of school, he called me into the office and said he had a group of really challenging kindergartners whom he wanted me to teach 2nd grade and move with. A new teacher would have my now fourth-graders. Note: I teach in a high-poverty school, but I LOVE my kids and families. They’ve learned my expectations, and I rarely have any discipline issues. My class is so “good”, I’m considering leaving the school when they go to middle school because I’ll miss them so much.

While I’m flattered in his ask, I’m pissed. All because I can handle “difficult” students, I don’t want to learn a whole new group of kids and parents, and spend a year getting them trained on how I run my class.

As a concession, my principal has offered me an uninterrupted planning period (the kids would have extended specials) every day, AND he said he won’t require me to take on any other duties.

However, I’m still pissed. Another friend of mine in a neighboring county is a principal and says I can teach at his school. If my test scores for my class are good, he’ll consider promoting me as a coach during the 2026-2027 school year. The only issue is that this school is located in a high-income community, and the parents have significant influence over the school. The stories he tells me make me uncomfortable. I’m accustomed to dealing with challenging children, but I draw the line with adults.

If I decide to leave, I’ll have to make the decision quickly. Should I stay where I am and just tough it out? Also, as a note, this is my 10th year teaching, I have my Master’s Degree, and I was the school’s TOTY (Teacher of the Year) two years ago.

The Educator’s Room Response:

Dear Teacher,

Let’s get this out of the way: No, you’re not being a butthole. You’re being honest and you’re tired. You’ve spent the last several years building relationships and caring for a group of students, and to have that snatched away isn’t right.

You’ve looped with your students for three years, built relationships with their families, nurtured a strong classroom culture, and made what many would consider a “dream class” in a high-poverty setting—a space where students are safe, seen, and soaring. That kind of classroom doesn’t just happen, and post-COVID, it has become increasingly difficult.

Now, all of that could be for naught, which is disrespectful on the last day of school.

Here’s the harsh realities

1. You are not a band-aid for systemic failure for teachers who do well with students get the hardest cases.

Your principal’s ask isn’t really about you. It’s about what you can handle, and that’s where the disrespect creeps in. Educators who are good with students who can be “difficult” are often regarded as “classroom whisperers” who can manage chaos and turn challenges into opportunities. But just because you can, doesn’t mean you should have to.

2. There are no promises in education.

Of course, you love your students. That’s not up for debate. However, while it’s nice that your principal promised you’d loop with your kids, depending on the vacancies, hires, etc., that may not be realistic. Yes, you are a master teacher, and you deserve a seat at the table when decisions like this are made; however, asking your leader to keep a promise from three years ago isn’t realistic.

3. The concession of additional planning time is nice, but it isn’t doable.

Yes, uninterrupted planning time and no extra duties sound great—but they’re also a bare minimum enticement that may not be doable. What happens when a colleague is absent and you have to watch their class? What happens when there’s an emergency and you have to take a class? Also, let’s say that you do get these promises, you will need the planning time to bond with your new students and parents.

4. The grass is NEVER greener.

You’ve got an offer from a friend who’s a principal, and an opportunity for leadership down the line. That’s big. But here’s the issue: teaching in a high-income community can feel like a different profession altogether. While the challenges may shift from student behavior to parental micromanagement, the pressure can be just as intense, with dire consequences. What happens when those parents don’t like your professional judgment? Are they determining what’s taught? Are you ready for that type of pressure?

So what should you do?

If you’re still struggling, ask yourself these four questions:

1. Do I still trust my principal?
2. Will moving to a new group reenergize or exhaust me?
3. Is staying worth the potential resentment I may carry?
4. Do I want to grow as a coach, even if it means growing in unfamiliar territory?

And here’s the advice, plain and simple:

💬 If staying means growing resentment, even if you’re still effective, it might be time to go. Students don’t just need good teachers; they need teachers who are whole, respected, and seen. If staying means you’re a little bit upset but love the challenge, then stay.

But if your heart says you’ve still got one more year in you with your kids—and you can make peace with the change—then stay on your terms. Use that planning time to write, reflect, and prepare your next move. Because make no mistake: your next move is coming. And it’s going to be big.

Keep teaching and keep choosing yourself.
—The Educator’s Room